Triggers

May have jinxed myself with that last comment about my fifth graders being lower anxiety than last year. In certain very specific combinations, my kids are lower anxiety than last year - or at least different anxiety. Easter Sunday was an adventure. They were trying, really, really trying, but so many things and people were off and wrong and just a little bit different that we might as well have blindfolded them, spun them on their heads, and asked them to navigate a minefield. Add in a few bad weeks, too much sugar, and a good dose of fourth and fifth grade angst, and we were in rare form.

It wasn't last year's fear response to crowds or the thought of being lost. Instead, they were missing the kid who they worry about, missing another kid who is their behavioral barometer, and missing a third kid whose calm keeps them centered in the middle of the crazy. So, on top of whatever they came with, we were anxious because we were worried, anxious because we didn't know how to act, and anxious because we were short an anchor. And...all of the trigger behavior came to the forefront: perseveration, body language, biting sarcasm, inability to focus, whining, forgetting how to do things, not understanding directions, distraction, hyper focus, moving in slow motion, attention seeking, slow processing, constant need for control, etc, etc.

If I didn't love them so much, I might have strung them all up by their very sharply dressed toenails. Our fear and anxiety may look different this year than last year, but it's still there. These guys are just a little more creative in the ways (behaviors) that they let me know that their worlds are off kilter.

(Not to say that there are not still moments where the fear jumps up so sharply in their eyes that I have to wonder what exactly it is that they have seen.)

They clean up nicely, though, don't they?