Triggers

May have jinxed myself with that last comment about my fifth graders being lower anxiety than last year. In certain very specific combinations, my kids are lower anxiety than last year - or at least different anxiety. Easter Sunday was an adventure. They were trying, really, really trying, but so many things and people were off and wrong and just a little bit different that we might as well have blindfolded them, spun them on their heads, and asked them to navigate a minefield. Add in a few bad weeks, too much sugar, and a good dose of fourth and fifth grade angst, and we were in rare form.

It wasn't last year's fear response to crowds or the thought of being lost. Instead, they were missing the kid who they worry about, missing another kid who is their behavioral barometer, and missing a third kid whose calm keeps them centered in the middle of the crazy. So, on top of whatever they came with, we were anxious because we were worried, anxious because we didn't know how to act, and anxious because we were short an anchor. And...all of the trigger behavior came to the forefront: perseveration, body language, biting sarcasm, inability to focus, whining, forgetting how to do things, not understanding directions, distraction, hyper focus, moving in slow motion, attention seeking, slow processing, constant need for control, etc, etc.

If I didn't love them so much, I might have strung them all up by their very sharply dressed toenails. Our fear and anxiety may look different this year than last year, but it's still there. These guys are just a little more creative in the ways (behaviors) that they let me know that their worlds are off kilter.

(Not to say that there are not still moments where the fear jumps up so sharply in their eyes that I have to wonder what exactly it is that they have seen.)

They clean up nicely, though, don't they?

Bullet Point Post

Life is moving along out here in the desert. We're working on justice things in every possible direction; kids are signing up for this year's Haiti VBS trip - including my baby sister, who I get to go on a ministry trip with for the first time ever! And, the end of the school year is creeping ever so slowly closer.

So many little things, but nothing that would fill an entire blog post:

• The fifth graders at both of my schools sang in a choral fest and did an amazing job.
• Fifth grade lunch has been split into a two day affair rather than a one day, and I have been reprimanded by several third graders since the switch for not being on the playground as often as I used to be.
• Our reading portable was completely rearranged for spring testing, and you could practically watch my second graders' head's spin as they tried to make sense of the change. Change is not their friend, and it tends to bring out some rather unique behaviors that really could be an entire post. 
• I managed to survive my first observation (fifth grade reading group) without passing out in front of the observers. 
• Spring Break is a wonderful, wonderful invention.
• The SOLD exhibit opens in almost exactly a month!!
• We've been using Signed Exact English with the cluster to work on memory verses, and some of the girls are amazingly good at picking it up. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that, when they sign the verse, they look fluent. 
• The high schoolers that I get to work with really are amazing.
• The fifth graders in my Sunday school group are typically far lower anxiety than last years' crew, but the about-to-move-up-to-middle-school nerves are ratcheting up steadily every week. 
• Kony 2012 blew in full force. 
• The exhibit is creeping closer to completion. 
• Did I mention that the SOLD exhibit opens in a month?! Because, that is kind of a big deal around here right now.