One of Those Days

It's one of those Sundays with the boys.

One of those where we can have an entire conversation in the act of throwing a bag of pencils at each other in a busy room, in pulling a face from inside of an inflatable orb or being knocked to the ground for the half dozenth time by the same kid.

One of those Sundays where body language and hip bumps are covering entirely different topics than what our words are saying. Where pillows to the face are communication. Where there are a dozen non-verbal languages being spoken at the same time.

And, where the new little sophomore girl manages to look a little appalled by the junior boy who wipes his sweaty head on my arm and then comes back a few minutes later to spray water through his teeth. Because, today, we are all of ten years old.

Today, there is a transition to a new senior pastor and middle school candidate visiting. Today there is a storm just passed the islands that they care about and smoke just cleared from the sky. Today is the start of the explanations and the goodbyes. Today is way too many kids blinking back tears for my mama bear heart to handle.

Today, and always, leaving kids (or getting ready to leave kids) is one of my least favorite things in the universe.

This will be good, but it is also hard.

Because, frankly, I don't know how to youth leader. I only know how to be steadily, unchangingly there, and this is a paradigm shift for more than just the kids.

So, for today, we build rock piles and throw pencils and stand around to talk until my waiting family has mostly given up on ever leaving church.

Today we have "real" conversations in between goofy ones, and I send the email formally agreeing to move to Haiti until these Juniors are walking at graduation.

Today we dive headfirst into the mess and the chaos and the beauty of a new transition. And, if it is a lot a bit of sweat and a little bit of spit and a few more tears, it is only because we have loved deeply and messily. Only because we've let ourselves learn a little of what it means for church to be family.

Only because, some weeks, it is just one of those days.