Even When

It is the first Sunday of fall Sunday school, the first day of their new small groups, and I have a pack of Gryffindor girls ready to take on the world with all of the fire in their fifth grade selves.

"Just so you know," one of the little blondes turns to me while she is supposed to be singing, "you have the wild group."

Oh, girl child, this is not my first rodeo. I've seen your type before, this loyalty that makes sure you share the treat equally between everyone, this certainty that the boys are just as much a part of this operation as the girls. The whispers during music and the keeping track of everyone.

One of them is standing three feet in front of you, wrangling his own set of wiggly boys, and he could tell you stories about climbing trees and donut fights and ninjas through the church.

Let's take that energy and that passion of yours, let's run until we're breathless, and let's help you to fall wildly and deeply in love with this beautifully messy thing that we call church.

Let's stretch out our line of chairs until we've blocked both of the aisles and half of us are actually sitting in the next section over. Let's curl up under the stairs in this fort created by brand new curtains, and then, let's take our notebooks outside in search of dirt.

"Because of Jesus," they scrawl onto the pages that we have glued together for a little extra strength, "I am accepted, even when life gets messy."

And, then, they watch, eyes sparking, as I pour out some water into the dust and dip my fingers in the mud.

"Even when life gets messy!" They laugh, and I hear the phrase another half dozen times, falling, unprompted, from their lips. Because, it is the first day of fall Sunday school, and, so, we smear mud into their brand new books and let it dry under our fingernails while we roll down the hill.

Come in a little late, because church got out a little early, and send them off bright eyed and full of stories. Because, did you know? It's okay to play in the mud at church!

They scatter to families, to early childhood rooms where they will serve second service, to the middle school room to check in with older brothers when they realize that their grandparents are already gone. Because, this is Bethel, and Bethel kids serve.

Middle schoolers come with me to pick up pieces from the game, and come back to sprawl out on furniture, tripping over the edges of rugs and using beanbag chairs as toboggans. 

"Don't go to the leader meeting," one of the girls uses my hip as a backrest when I perch on the arm of the couch, already confident that she won't have to ask more than once. Because, we're counting down the weeks until I move, and time is precious. Because, it's been a long summer. Because, we have a new senior pastor. Because, this week, there isn't a potential middle school director for them to keep an eagle eye on.

Because, their last few years of church have been far too many transitions, and, in this moment, there is power in simply staying.

And, because, frankly, I am going to miss them.

So, we talk and spend time and pretend like things are normal in between the tellings and the askings and the won't let go hugs that spread teary eyed foundation on the shoulder of my sweatshirt, "But, you've been here since I was a baby!"

Technically, y'all, I've left once before. But, you don't remember the goings, only the staying. Only the running up and down that grassy hill and the bus rides up to camp. Only the borrowing of my phone and the certainty that I know every one of your siblings.

So, we'll talk about getting a shrink ray to pack you all in my suitcase, and you'll volunteer to test it on the boys before we use it on your new puppy, because, of course, the puppy is coming to Haiti with us too. And, the high schoolers will calculate how long before they can come to visit.

And, there will be more hugs and more life, and we will fill this room up once again in the evening, this time with high school bodies. We'll gather around tables for pizza and salad, and we'll slip into rows and circles of chairs to listen to and talk about Gospel. We'll measure our words carefully, glad to have two leaders in the room, and you'll remind each other that, when you disagree, there is room for Grace.

Because, y'all are incredible like that. Loving and Grace filled and in such very different places on your journeys.

Because, "because of Jesus, you are accepted, even when life gets messy."